What a way to go
04/15/2003

I spent all day long at the SF State library. I was drowning in all the books I had checked out on Albee, Pinter, "Orientalism", "Ornamentalism"...when that impossible to ignore PA system "I am about to speak" whistle came on. Then, an announcement saying the library had received a bomb threat for around 2 pm. "There is no evidence this is a real threat," the announcer said, "the library will remain open, but you are free to leave the library if you wish." Gee thanks, I thought first. My next thought was, it is 1:55 pm and they are just now announcing the bomb threat for 2 pm? Then I thought, "wow, my life is really in my hands now. I actually have a choice. Damn, I really have to pee. Yes, there is no evidence there is a real threat, but the what if's stop me from going to the bathroom. What if it is a real threat? What a way to go, sitting on the toilet... Fuck it, I am going to go pee." So those could have been my last thoughts. Nothing fancy, nothing sublime, just a primal need for bodily functions: "damn, I really have to pee." And why not? I felt like my own existentialist/absurdist theater scene right then and there. Life is a beauty.